Happy Holidays

Whatever you celebrate and however you celebrate it, I hope you are having a good time and looking forward to a bright and shiny new year.

Once Upon a Time in the West

Here is a sneak peek at the Program Notes I wrote for the screening of Once Upon a Time in the West at the Dryden Theatre this Sunday, December 27. There's even a film noir connection. If it makes you want to come, the screening starts at 7pm:

Philosopher Jean Baudrillard has been credited with claiming alternately that Sergio Leone was the first post-modernist director and that Once Upon a Time in the West was the first post-modern film. Either seems like a specious claim, in that the French New Wave fairly lived in Hollywood’s history. But it may not be hyberbolic to say that the film was the first post-modern Western.

Its post-modernity lies almost exclusively in the tenet of self-reflexivity, the ability to recognize that a work lies not outside its history, but is, indeed, a product of it. Sergio Leone, along with Bernardo Bertolucci and Dario Argento, who helped him fashion the treatment for Once Upon a Time in the West, repeatedly watched their favorite old Westerns during the story process, then consciously cribbed and quoted those films to lay the groundwork of familiarity against which the plot of the film would be set. In this way, they honored the conventions of the Westerns of their youth, while using them to deconstruct the Western itself.

The most striking use of this technique is in the casting. Henry Fonda, whose career had featured a long-line of heroic and morally-upright characters, including Abraham Lincoln, Tom Joad, Wyatt Earp, Mister Roberts, JFK, and Teddy Roosevelt, Jr., was cast as the evil, amoral Frank, a fact which was hidden from the audience until after he and his men had massacred an entire family, and just before he gunned down a child. The audience’s expectations for the character, then, were completely shattered, giving Frank full reign to be as brutal as he needed to be.

Also familiar to Western fans was Charles Bronson, who had appeared in Vera Cruz, Jubal, 4 For Texas, and Guns of Diablo. But it was his role as the wood-whittling Bernardo O’Reilly in The Magnificent Seven that made him the perfect choice for the role of Harmonica. What was, in The Magnificent Seven, a sweet and generous gift of music became a totem of revenge in Leone’s film.

Beyond this, there are many scenes or sequences in the film that refer directly or obliquely to previous Westerns. The beginning of the film is similar to that of High Noon, where three men wait for a single passenger at a train station. The person they are waiting for is a bad man named Frank. The massacre of the McBain family at Sweetwater was influenced by a similar sequence in The Searchers, where the Edwards family is setting their places for dinner, as the anticipation of an attack by unseen Indians mounts. The massacre is conducted by five men in dusters, including Frank, much the same way that the stagecoach is robbed by five men in dusters, including Liberty Valance, in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

The funeral scene is borrowed very closely from the Sonewall Torrey funeral scene in Shane. The character of Jill McBain bears close resemblance to that of Joan Crawford’s Vienna in Johnny Guitar, in what Bertolucci called “one of the more explicit references in Once Upon a Time in the West.” Henry Fonda, working the dark side of his personality in Warlock, wears clothes similar to what Frank wears here. His character also kicks a crippled man off his crutches, much as Frank does to Morton near the end of the film. And, of course, the entire concept of the colonization of the West, and the role of the railroad in it, is a common theme in Westerns. Veteran writer Frank Gruber calls it one of the seven basic Western plots. But in Leone’s interpretation, it bears closest resemblance to John Ford’s The Iron Horse and Cecil B. DeMille’s Union Pacific in its affectionate close-ups of the trains.

But the references did not stop at Westerns. Leone pulled from all of film history, including a reference to the final scene of film noir Farewell, My Lovely, in which Marlowe says “She made good coffee, anyway,” echoing Cheyenne’s views on the beverage. In the gangster film Murder, Inc., there is a shot of someone taking over the strop and razor from an Italian barber, as seen in this film. And Frank’s line “How can you trust a man that wears both a belt and suspenders. Man can’t even trust his own pants!” is taken almost verbatim from Billy Wilder’s Ace in the Hole. And even beyond film, Bertolucci claims that Brett McBain’s name is a combination of crime writers Brett Halliday and Ed McBain.

Jorge Luis Borges once wrote that “every writer creates his own precursors.” Filmmakers are no different. Rarely are they as apparent in Once Upon a Time in the West, but we all live with a collective past, a collective memory, that exists to shape our perception of what is to come. Whether what is to come agrees with or contradicts what has passed is the choice of the artist.

~Jared Case, Head of Cataloging, Motion Picture Department, George Eastman House

Crime Beat

A total of 135 feet of copper gutters, valued at a total of nearly $1,500, was reported stolen from a building on the 900 block of East Ridge Road at 12:10 p.m. Dec. 7.

How do you fit this under the tree?

Crime Beat

The first one I came upon:

Two electric toothbrushes valued at nearly $290 and a brush head valued at $25.99 were reported stolen from the Rite Aid on the 600 block of East Ridge Road about 4 p.m. Dec. 2.

Absent Hosts

Well, you may have noticed that I haven't been around here much lately. I've been working pretty hard on the Film Noir series I curated for this January and February. Introductions for 9 of the films, and 8 sets of program notes take some extra time. Also, we've been finishing work on the family room in preparation for the holidays. Which is too bad, because if you remember from last year, criminals get crazy around the holidays and steal all sorts of weird and funny stuff. I had a series of Crime Beats leading up to Christmas, and in the back of my mind I was hoping to do the same thing this year. Maybe I can get a few up before Friday. Beyond that, I'm working on my favorite reads post, and a list of the movies (not all films) I've watched this year. Enjoy the rest of your year, and remember what we say in my family: Happy, Healthy and Safe.

Christmas Gift Ideas

So, there's 11 days till Christmas and you haven't finished (begun?) your shopping. You need help. Inspired by (read: stolen from) Type M For Murder, here are some of my (alphabetical) recommendations for books published in the last 24 months that your gift-receiving friends are sure to love. There's a little something for everybody here, so pick the most appropriate.

Bury Me Deep, by Megan Abbott
Another beautiful, elliptical novel from Megan, based on a true scandalous murder of the Thirties, then taken where Megan wants it to go. There aren't many better than Megan in crime fiction right now, and if you like your novels dark, then Megan is the way to go.

Murder is Binding, by Lorna Barrett
NY Times best-selling cozy from one of Rochester's own. It takes the meta-level lover of mysteries and plops her into a mystery of her own, in a small town with many eccentric peoples. The first of a series that now includes Bookmarked for Death and Bookplate Special.

Hit and Run, by Lawrence Block
The master at work on possibly his last novel. Keller is the likeable hit-man set up for a political assassination and on the run in post-Katrina New Orleans. Fourth in a series that you should read, too, if you haven't already.

For Better, For Murder, by Lisa Bork
The newest Rochester-based crime fiction purveyor starts her "Broken Vows" series with this not-quite-cozy that centers around expensive cars and dead bodies in a Finger Lakes small town. The complex relationship between the protagonist and her "ex-husband" is what draws me to this series.

Trigger City, by Sean Chercover
Sean is awesome. Dark, like his hero Lawrence Block's Matt Scudder novels, but also thoughtful and timely. In this one, our PI Ray Dudgeon is paid to investigate an open-and-shut case that puts him in the crosshairs of a multi-national security firm. Great stuff, and get the first novel, Gi City, Bad Blood, too.

Embrace the Grim Reaper, by Judy Clemens
Full disclosure - I haven't finished this yet, but I'm enjoying the hell out of it. Casey has had a near-death experience, and ever since then she's been having near-Death experiences. Wandering the countryside, the Grim Reaper is her nearly-constant companion. In this, she stumbles onto a recession-induced murder mystery in a small Ohio town. Fantasy or parable, I'm eager to find out.

Frames, by Loren D. Estleman
For the film geek in your life. Valentino is a UCLA film archivist that may have just found the sole remaining print of GREED. Salivating yet? Get it for your film geek friends and watch the drool flow...

Money Shot, by Christa Faust
Ex-porn star Angel Dare starts the novel in the trunk of a car, presumably at her own end, but this is only the start of the novel. Angel finds her way out, discovers who's behind the deed and extracts her revenge. Dark, fast and fun. But what else would a Hard Case Crime book be?

State of the Onion, by Julie Hyzy
Can a White House chef really become embroiled (heh-heh) in an international mystery? Of course she can! A "cozy thriller," this is the first in a (soon-to-be three book) series that follows Ollie Paras through the worlds of diplomatic exactitude, haute cuisine and Sorkin-esque behind-the-scenery.

Good People/The Amateurs, by Marcus Sakey
Holding up the back end of the alphabet all by himself, Marcus is a Chicago-based writer that focuses on the everyman in his thrillers. Not the John McClane Hollywood everyman, but the guy who has moved on from his dark past. Or the guy coming back from the war to a changed neighborhood (noir anyone?). Or, in the case of these two novels, a married couple just trying to have a baby, and a group of friends 10 years too late in finding that this is all there is. They really should be bought and read together as companion pieces (you can e-mail me if you've read them and want to discuss why), but they work very well individually as well.

Noir Images - Lady in the Lake

One of the things Philip Marlowe is always doing is getting beat up. And when you have a first-person camera perspective, that means you get beat up to. In this film, it's usually by Lt. DeGarmo (Lloyd Nolan).

The Death of Method

There is a very interesting article in the Wall Street Journal about the death of method acting. I haven't quite gotten my head around it yet. This feels like something I'd rather talk through, but there's something there. Read it here.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.13

All sides get bloody in the final conflict between the Club, the Aryan Brotherhood, Zobelle and the Mayans. I will waiting for the next 39 weeks for Episode 3.1.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.12

In the penultimate episode of the season, everything is coming to a head. Jax and Clay are back together, but at what cost? And can Clay pull all the colors together to fight the Aryan Nation, or are the Sons headed for ultimate ruin? Or worse.

Finding Rare Noir at Home

Has your favorite noir never been released on home video? Or was it only released on VHS or laserdisc? Is your favorite noir controlled by Warner Bros.? Well, you may be in luck. Warner Bros. started a program this year called the Warner Archive Collection. It is a selection of hundreds of films from the '20s to the '90s that have previously been unavailable on DVD, only now you can get them On Demand in DVD format, as long as you get them through the Warner Archive site: http://warnerarchive.com. Amongst the many titles offered are some 2 dozen titles that are identified as film noir either in Alain Silver's Film Noir: An Encyclopedic Reference or Michael Keaney's Film Noir Guide. Here they are:

BEAST OF THE CITY (1932)
THE BERLIN EXPRESS (1948)
BRAINSTORM (1965)
THE BRIBE (1949)
CRISIS (1950)
CROSSROADS (1942)
DEEP VALLEY (1947)
EXPERIMENT PERILOUS (1944)
THE FALLEN SPARROW (1943)
HIGHWAY 301 (1950)
I DIED A THOUSAND TIMES (1955)
I WAS A COMMUNIST FOR THE F.B.I. (1951)
JOHNNY EAGER (1942)
LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE (1951)
NORA PRENTISS (1947)
PARTY GIRL (1958)
RANCHO NOTORIOUS (1952)
SUSPENSE (1946)
THE TALL TARGET (1951)
THIS WOMAN IS DANGEROUS (1952)
THE UNFAITHFUL (1947)
THE UNSUSPECTED (1947)
THE VERDICT (1946)

There are also a handful of film noir at the increasingly ubiquitous hulu.com, available for viewing on your computer screen immediately. They're not on the site forever (I've included their expiration dates), but you don't have to make a trip to the video store or wait for the disc in the mail, so check them out:

99 RIVER STREET (1953) - 10/31/2010
COP HATER (1958) - 10/31/2010
CRIME AGAINST JOE (1956) - 10/31/2010
MR. ARKADIN (1955) - Never
THE STRANGER (1946) - Never

So, now there's more reason to explore the breadth and scope of noir. Some of it's at your fingertips, and some of it is easily within reach. Enjoy yourself!

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.11

I am thankful for Sons of Anarchy:

Local Author Makes Good

Congratulations to Lorna Barrett, author of the Booktown Mystery Series, and a Rochester, NY mystery writer. Her third book in the series, BOOKPLATE SPECIAL went to #20 on the New York Times Paperback Bestseller list. That means it gets in the paper. Awesome! Pick it up yourself to see what all the sales are about.

My Favorite TV of the Last 10 Years, Part 4

#5 - Friends (1994-2004)
Yes, yes. I know. So sue me. This series started when I was 23 years old and was all about where I was in my life - hanging out with friends, trying to figure out the present and the future, as far as relationships and careers were involved. And the snarky, sarcastic Chandler was as close to who I thought I was as I could find on TV. So I watched. And I laughed. "The One with the Embryos" is still one of my favorite half-hours of all time. ("Actually, it's MISS Chenandler Bong.") And I still quote the pilot, although you may not know it. ("All right. Maybe I will.") Can't help it. I loved this show.

#4 - Rescue Me (2004-Present)
Although it really went off the rails in Season 5, this show has always been appointment TV for me. Hey, it's not every show about post-9/11 anxiety, survivor's guilt, divorce, alcoholism, rage, hallucinations, ghosts, religion and masculine failure that can make you laugh liquids out your nose. There have been some really, really dark moments on this show, and there have also been moments that have made me fall off the couch, and when you can do both well, and balance them against each other, you have an emotional experience that is hard to beat. Denis Leary leads a solid cast, and his two Emmy nominations have been well-deserved.





#3 - Lost (2004-2010)
What I love about LOST is that joyous sense of bewilderment I get from watching it. Oh, I can follow the story, at least as much as they give me, but I still don't know what's going on. And it's inevitable that there will be that point in an episode where I'll say, "What!?" But I'm along for the ride because of the storytelling, the philosophical questions, and the characters. Moving images, and especially the narrative form, are the purview of emotion, and LOST is the only show that gives me this sort of experience.



#2 - Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006-2007)
Okay, wait, let me see if I've got this right. You're going to take Matthew Perry from FRIENDS, Bradley Whitford and Timothy Busfield from WEST WING, pair them up in a show from Aaron Sorkin, toss in Amanda Peet and the revelation that is Sarah Paulson, top it off with the under-rated Steven Weber and set it behind-the-scenes at a comedy sketch show? Let's face it, I loved this show before the camera turned on. Luckily for me, the writing was fantastic and took on the War, the media, and personal responsibility with a fascinating multi-episode flashback arc. I think the show truly hit its stride, however, with its only Christmas episode:



#1 - The Shield (2002-2008)
If there was ever such a thing as TV Noir, this show was its epitome. Posit yourself as Vic Mackey, a cop in the toughest part of LA that gets things done to keep the public safe, catch the bad guys, and keep the gangs away from innocent people. Yeah, sure, he has to get rough, but it's a rough job. Yeah, sure, he has to make some deals with the devils, plant some evidence, but it's all for the greater good. For Vic, this is how the job needs to get done, and the results back him up. It's the Captains and other higher-ups that don't understand. So, in that moment that they find there's an FBI agent undercover in their Strike Squad - in that moment - it makes sense to kill him. And that's when the real spiral begins. It's a credit to Shawn Ryan that everything in THE SHIELD's seven seasons unspools from this first episode. The show wasn't always tight, but it was always focused. The characters became richer as the series went on. Vic's son turned out to be autistic, giving him more reason to stay on the dark side and give him the treatment he needed. Walt Goggins as Shane Vendrell went from the high-livin' adrenaline jockey giving witnesses "yammies full of Georgia joy-juice" to a shades-of-grey family man. The last episode is possibly one of the most shocking, gut-wrenching put to film. Michael Chiklis and Goggins are great, with a solid supporting cast, and excellent recurring turns from Oscar-nominees Glenn Close and Forest Whitaker.

What? you may say. Where's this show, or that show? Well, I can't rank what I haven't seen, and there are some shows that may be right up my alley that I've just missed. Usually because I have the $8 version of cable. So, my apologies to the following series that I'll try to catch up on: THE WIRE, THE SOPRANOS, MAD MEN, BREAKING BAD, DEADWOOD, and DEXTER.

My Favorite TV of the Last 10 Years, Part 3

#10 - 30 Rock (2006-Present)
I was with this show from the beginning. Then I left. Then I came back and found that they had moved from an ensemble show to focus on Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin, which I'll take any day. The absurdist levels of plot development are right up my alley, the apex of which are Tracy Morgan's unique non-sequitirs. There is little plot development, but this show makes me laugh more often than any other show right now.



#9 - Friday Night Lights (2006-Present)
This is the show most likely to make me cry. Yes, it's "about football." But it's about so much more. It's about how you deal when something so totally consumes your life, personally and professionally. It's about the death of dreams. It's about broken families, and the families you make for yourself. It's about the homefront. It's about aging, expectations, personal responsibility, love, life, moving on, growing up. It's about time you started watching this show.

#8 - Battlestar Galactica (2005-2009)
I don't have the Sci-Fi Channel, so I came to this series this year on DVD. I've got a pretty sweet set-up where I get together with friends once or twice a week to watch the shows, and we get to talk about them afterward. And what we have to talk about. Short of OVER THERE, this is about as close as we've come to a weekly allegory about The War. Whether we're talking about torture, or the perception of inhumanity we place on our enemies, or the lengths we'll go to to achieve our goals, and what we'll sacrifice, both physically and personally, it's all here. We're into the third season now, and it's really getting good.

#7 - Sons of Anarchy (2008-Present)
Regular readers have heard me championing this series as a cross between the Godfather, The Wild One, and Hamlet. We have a main character caught at the crossroads of two American dreams: the freedom to be what you want to be without recrimination, and the freedom to make as much money as you can, any way you can. His father's dead, and his mother married his best friend. Oh, did I mention they were bikers?



#6 - Doctor Who (2005-Present)
I've been a fan of Doctor Who for, oh, let's call it 27 years now, ever since I saw "Earthshock" late one Saturday night on WXXI. When Adric (27-year-old spoilers ahead) died at the end of the episode, and they went back to "Robot" the following week, I was devastated. I wanted to know more and more about the show, and watched and taped the show faithfully. What's great about this new version of the show, is that it turns the concept on its ear. The first two series are as much about Rose, the companion, as they are the Doctor. How does her decision affect the life and family she left behind? What exactly is the relationship between the Doctor and his companions? What happens when it's time to leave? It's funny, exciting, touching, and it's a tentpole now on British television. David Tennant only has three specials left, so enjoy him while you can.

My Favorite TV of the Last 10 Years, Part 2

#15 - Life (2007-2009)
I don't really go for procedurals on TV. But what I do go for is a crime show where the leads have a personal investment in the crime. In LIFE, Charlie Crews was a cop that was set up for murder and sent to jail. When he was finally proven innocent, part of his multi-million dollar settlement was that he get reinstated to the LAPD. Presumably, he wanted his old life back. What he really wanted was the resources to track down who had done this to him.



#14 - Sports Night (1998-2000)
Aaron Sorkin can write a series about watching paint dry, and I'd watch it. In this, his first series, he took a cast on the verge of greatness - Peter Krause (SIX FEET UNDER), Felicity Huffman (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES), Joshua Malina (THE WEST WING) - and filtered the issues of the day - divorce, drugs, sexual harassment, corporate gluttony - through the eyes and hearts of a SportsCenter-type TV show. A lot of the pathos came from the fact that, no matter what was going on in these character's lives, their job was to be happy for the rest of us. There are some amazing supporting turns, including Robert Guillaume (before and after his stroke), Teri Polo, William H. Macy, Clark Gregg, the underestimated genius that is Ted McGinley, Brenda Strong, Paula Marshall, and Lisa Edelstein. The "behind-the-scenes" concept has carried Sorkin throughout his TV career.

#13 - How I Met Your Mother (2005-Present)
My wife turned me on to this one. The high-concept is this: Our hero, Ted, at a future time, sits his two children down to tell them the story of how he happened to meet their mother. Ostensibly, the entire series is told in flashback, and starts with the day that Ted met Robin, a Canadian emigre newscaster. Each episode, Ted takes a step closer to meeting the elusive "mother," or toward realizing that Robin is the one for him, although she's referred to in the first episode as "Aunt Robin." But don't believe them. The actors that play Ted and Robin are likable, but they are ably supported by Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, and Alyson Hannigan, all TV comedy veterans.

#12 - The West Wing (1999-2006)
Our dream White House doesn't have to do with party affiliation. It has to do with having a thinking, feeling human being running the show. That's what Aaron Sorkin gave us with Jed Bartlett (Martin Sheen), a democrat by affiliation, but a compassionate, intelligent man by nature. Again, the supporting cast is outstanding - Bradley Whitford, Rob Lowe, John Spencer, Allison Janney, Richard Schiff - and Sorkin still had the ability to pull in more star power as the series went on - Joshua Malina, Stockard Channing, Mary McCormack, Jimmy Smits, Kristin Chenoweth, Alan Alda, Lily Tomlin, Mary-Louis Parker, Moira Kelly, Gary Cole, Ron Silver, Tim Matheson, Teri Polo, Marlee Matlin, Janeane Garofalo - not to mention solid guest turns by veterans like John Amos and Karl Malden.

#11 - Over There (2005)
Steven Bochco didn't go away after NYPD BLUE, he just moved to cable. This F/X series may not have been what people wanted to see (as evidenced by a similar reaction at the box office), but the war in Iraq was on everyone's mind, and just as there were films being made about World War II during the war, so too were there artists and producers concerned with getting our fighting men and women's stories on-screen. This series only lasted 13 episodes, and focused on the gritty, dirty world of war, as seen through the eyes of a single company, and the effect it had on the loved ones at home.

My Favorite TV of the Last 10 Years

Fans will often ask writers, "Where do you get your ideas?" The answer is actually very easy. We steal them. First go to The AV Club to look at their list of the "30 Best TV Shows of the Oughties." Then come back and look at Part 1 of my list of my favorite TV shows of the last 10 years. Before I get started, you should know that I haven't seen everything. There's a lot of stuff I miss, especially on premium cable, but I'll do my best. And here are some honorable mentions that didn't make the list: FARSCAPE, FIREFLY, FOYLE'S WAR, KEVIN HILL, WHAT ABOUT JOAN?

#20: Clerks - The Animated Series (2000)
A whole 2 episodes of this series played on ABC in 2000, but 6 were produced and put onto DVD. It's loopy, meta-level plots and constant pop culture references were right up my alley, and Alec Baldwin is spot-on as the evil Leonardo Leonardo, pre-figuring his Emmy-winning turn on 30 Rock. "Who is driving the car? Oh no! Bear is driving the car!"



#19: The X-Files (1993-2002)
X-Files was still going for 2 1/2 seasons into the new Millennium, and is still one of the best sci-fi shows in history. It's supernatural investigatory premise virtually kickstarted the SciFi Channel, not to mention tons of shows on the WB.




#18: Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)
Yes, I have a feminine side. But this show is not about that. It's about the writing. It's about the dialogue. It's about generational conflict, and about a 30-something mom still finding strength within her.


#17: Damages (2007-Present)
There has only been two seasons of this show so far, but they have both been outstanding. Glenn Close is continuing the great work she started on THE SHIELD, and Rose Byrne is a revelation. Great supporting turns are all over this series, from Ted Danson to Zeljko Ivanek to Anastasia Griffith. I am looking forward to a new season in January.






#16: Da Vinci's Inquest (1998-2006)
Imagine CSI, only with humans! This Canadian series is based on an actual Vancouver coroner who became an activist and eventually a politician, gaining the Mayor's office. Nicholas Campbell is great as Dominic Da Vinci, and Ian Tracey and Donnelly Rhodes are great as the main cops that work with Dom. This may not be the last Donnelly Rhodes series on the list. Tune in tomorrow!

The Film Noir Program

I've tried not to keep it too much of a secret that I was curating the next edition of the "Essential Film Noir" series running at the Dryden Theater (at George Eastman House) in January and February. Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to announce the line-up of films.

Jan. 7 – White Heat (1949)
Jan. 14 - Gun Crazy (1950)/My Name is Julia Ross (1945) (double feature) – Joseph Lewis
Jan. 21 - Kiss of Death (1947)
Jan. 28 – Crossfire (1947)/The Set-Up (1949) (double feature) – Robert Ryan
Feb. 4 – Dark Passage (1947)
Feb. 11 - Beyond a Reasonable Doubt (1956)/Kiss the Blood Off My Hands (1948) (double feature) – Joan Fontaine
Feb. 18 - Where the Sidewalk Ends (1950)
Feb. 25 – The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)

The double features will start at 7pm. All the other films will start at 8pm. I'm really excited about this line-up, and excited at the possibility that there may be a special guest or two stopping by to help celebrate. There will be many more details to come, including (I hope), sneak peeks at program notes, who is coming and when, and even (gulp) video of film introductions. We'll see how it works out.

Forgotten Friday

I was asked by Patti Abbott of the blog Pattinase to contribute to her ongoing series of blog articles called "Forgotten Fridays," essays about books that should never be forgotten. I didn't think there were any books that I had read that others might not know about, until I realized that there was a whole series I loved that I wish more people knew about: The Owen Keane books by Terence Faherty. I chose the fourth book in the series, DIE DREAMING, to focus on because it plays so well with time and cause-and-effect, but really the whole series is that way, jumping from time to time as needed for the narrative. Here is the text of my entry:

Owen Keane is the perfect example of a character that illuminates the prosaic by highlighting the idiosyncratic. His background is like no other: On a religious retreat between his junior and senior years in high school he came across a boy who claimed he could talk to God. When this claim was proven a deceit, his faiths were shaken: his faith in God, his faith in Man, and his faith in The Truth. This event was never far from him, and his crises of faith were internalized, affecting his belief in God, his belief in himself, and his belief in his ability to find the truth. Hoping to tackle all of these crises simultaneously, he abandoned Mary, the woman who would be the love of his life, and entered the seminary. When his failure at the seminary coincided with Mary’s abandonment of him for his college roommate, Harold Ohlman, Owen began to wander, doing odd menial jobs, and ending up in a liquor store. In a fit of pique, he attended his tenth high school reunion under the guise of a private investigator, and Owen Keane, the amateur detective was born.

This backstory is specific enough to be unique, and yet the sum is the same for many of us. Our lives have been an accumulation of events that led us to question the world around us. And to this end, Owen Keane has many of the same investigative tools we all do. As a fan mystery fiction and mystery film, Owen has been indoctrinated into all the tropes and clichés of the detective’s process. His experience is our experience as he references Dashiell Hammett, or Nero Wolfe, or Double Indemnity. This makes him acutely self-aware of his place in the genealogy of detective fiction, but the broad shoulders he stands on don’t prevent him from jumping to the wrong conclusion or following a lead because he hopes it to be true. His failings are our failings, even as his cynical, self-deprecating exterior belies an underlying belief in the goodness of men and women, and the belief that he will be able to effect positive change through the search for truth.

In fact, his currency is truth. Rarely does he get paid for his services, and even then it only covers expenses. But if he can uncover the truth, not necessarily for himself, and not even necessarily for the victim, it adds to a growing tapestry of truth, something that he can point to as a basis for a belief in his ability to find the truth, which supports a belief in himself and in mankind, which holds up the possibility of a belief in the existence and effectiveness of God, despite the fact that faith requires neither proof nor support. Yet this is what drives him to toil in the long shadows of Sam Spade, Nick Charles and Travis McGee.

DIE DREAMING, the fourth book in Terence Faherty’s “Owen Keane” series, is perhaps the best, taking this mystery-fan/faith-in-crisis context and grafting it onto a mystery story that inverts the mystery story expectation of beginning-middle-end. Owen Keane, 28 and feeling a bit of a failure, decides to play a self-deprecating joke on his high school classmates, The Sorrowers, by running an ad for the Owen Keane Detective Agency in the 10^th reunion program. But one of The Sorrowers is a jokester herself and sets up a fake mystery to lure Owen into an embarrassing situation. Owen falls for the ruse, but is saved by another classmate. In the meantime, however, a true mystery surfaces when loose lips mention an event that was suppressed 10 years ago and that tied The Sorrowers together in a code of secrecy. Owen’s investigation stumbles along, following false leads and shaky assumptions, but his dogged determination does eventually reveal the truth. It also reveals that there are as many victims as perpetrators, and in the end Owen decides that the truth, now discovered, is sometimes better left buried.

This decision comes into question 10 years later when one of The Sorrowers turns up dead. Owen must come to terms with his responsibility in the death and determine whether the truth did come out, and if someone would kill to keep it hidden. His investigation takes him back to his hometown and his 20^th high school reunion. He starts to look at The Sorrowers and the mysterious event that took place 20 years ago, but he has to take into account the changes that have taken place in the last 10 years, when the end of his last investigation became the beginning of this new crime. He discovers that relationships are even more complex than they appeared, and that crimes can have implications generations removed from the original event itself.

There is no better feeling than finding a piece of art that resonates with you, unless you get to share that discovery with someone else. Terence Faherty and Owen Keane were such a discovery for me, and I hope that, by sharing the discovery with you, they will pass from the realms of the forgotten.

I do hope you check out this book and all of Terence Faherty's work. And make sure you check Patti's blog every Friday for books that shouldn't be forgotten.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.9

I spent last night unsuccessfully turning back The Man, so I haven't watched this episode yet, but this is Hulu's description: "When SAMCRO's adult-film business becomes a hindrance to the club, Clay seizes the opportunity to revive the gun-running cartel." Plus, there's fire.

Crime Beat

Candy and two 12-packs of beer were reported stolen Sept. 25 from the Hess convenience store, 1954 Lyell Ave.

Two large candy boxes valued at $44 were reported stolen Sept. 27 from the Hess convenience store, 1954 Lyell Ave.

If at first you do succeed...

Crime Beat

Further developments in the case of the one-legged scarecrow. Don't forget to watch the video at the bottom of the page:

http://www.mpnnow.com/news/police_and_fire/x1340496895/Vandals-strike-scarecrow-again

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.8

The Sons are out of jail, but in the wake of the fight between Jax and Clay, lines are being drawn, and the Club fractures further under the pressure from Zobell, the ATF and Georgie the porn tycoon.

Noir Images - The Red House (1947)

Sometimes a little lighting can make all the difference.

Check out this single shot where Edward G Robinson goes from obsessing about the past to living in it with a neat switch of the light. The light low and to his right is ominous and keeps half his head in shadow, while the light high and to his left is almost like warm sunshine beating down on his face.

Sorry...

I've been sick recently, so I haven't been at the keyboard as much. (Reminds me, I should wash this thing down now that I'm feeling better.) Anyway, as a reward for your patience, I leave you with some images of the world's greatest crimefighters.

Crime Beat

At 2:18 p.m. Sept. 14, assorted college textbooks valued at a total of $575 were reported stolen from a car parked in a driveway in the 200 block of Vinedale Drive.

And then a dog ate them.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.7

Look, it's been a little difficult catching up since I've come back, but don't let that stop you from watching the show. Just don't tell me about it. Just the avatar for this episode has spoilers for me.

Crime Beat

Eight mirrors were removed from rooms at the Motel 6, 155 Buell Road, and several other mirrors were damaged sometime between Sept. 29 and 30. The mirrors were found under a tree in the parking lot.

Crime Beat

At 6:42 p.m. Sept. 13, police responded to the area of 100 Kings Highway South for a report that a man in the area was exposing himself. The officer subsequently located Angel Morales, 41, of Edgebrook Drive, Rochester. He was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance (cocaine) after a clear plastic bag containing a white powder fell from his pants.

Pants?

Mystery Authors in the Rochester Area

Fresh off being the Toastmaster at Bouchercon in Indianapolis, SJ Rozan is coming to Rochester as part of the Lane Dworkin Jewish Book Festival. She will be joined on November 3rd by Daniel Levin and Gabriel Cohen for a Mystery Panel in the middle of the festival. The event will be held from 7:30-9:00 at the JCC Hart Theatre on Edgewood Avenue. The tickets are $10 for non-members, and can be purchased here.

On December 3, Canadian author Louise Penny will be speaking as part of the Rochester Arts and Lectures series at the United Presbyterian Church on Fitzhugh. The event starts at 7:30, and Standing Room Only tickets will be sold at the door starting at 6:45.

And if you want an idea of what local mystery authors are doing, all you have to do is be in Greece this Saturday, October 24. Lorna Barrett will be signing at the Greece Arts Festival at the Greece Public Library from 11am-2pm. Then at 2pm, new author Lisa Bork will be at the Barnes & Noble at the Mall at Greece Ridge. The two are doing a joint event at the School 46 Holiday Bazaar on December 5th. Barrett also has other signings throughout the holiday season, so if you miss these two events, maybe you can catch up with her another time.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.6

I stil haven't had a chance to catch up and I'm very jealous that you may get a chance to watch this before I do...

What I Learned at Bouchercon - 2009 Edition

Bouchercon is always a hectic 3-4 days of information overload, and it's always nice to sit back and take stock of what you've seen and heard. It's way too much to write a full post about, so I'll just give you the bullet points:

- Rochester is 9 hours from Indianapolis. It breaks down pretty well: 2 hours in New York, 1 hour in Pennsylvania, 5 hours in Ohio and 1 hour in Indiana.
- According to Sean Chercover, Toronto (on the other side of the lake) is 9 1/2 hours from Indianapolis.
- Indianapolis is the 12th largest metropolitan area in the US (credit: new friend Paul Vasquez)
- Indianapolis is the "Crossroads of America," where US 65 (Mobile to Gary) and US 70 (Baltimore to Cove Fort, UT) intersect.
- Jim Huang is full of good ideas. The Continuous Conversation was always interesting and the New Authors speed-dating event transferred over well from Malice Domestic.
- Always listen to James Scott Bell.
- Translating a book from another language is hard.
- You want Max Allan Collins to sneeze.
- Sean Chercover's Ray Dudgeon series was this close.
- Canadians dress funny. At least on their panels.
- No matter what Trey Barker says, I love it when authors get recognized. Congratulations again to Brett Battles, Julie Hyzy, Christa Faust and Sean Chercover.
- SJ Rozan gives good interview and I eagerly anticipate her trip to Rochester.
- I love talking to Terence Faherty.
- Video games at Bouchercon? It kinda works.
- Films are as much an influence on current authors as books are.
- Lockerbie Square is a beautiful place to live near a major downtown area.
- I have to read Stephen Jay Schwartz's book soon.
- I still don't know which Terence Faherty book is going to be the "Book You Have to Read."
- I have to read Derek Nikitas' books soon.
- I have to read more and sleep less.
- Write with your head down.
- Absent friends are indeed missed. I'm looking at you, Charles. You too, Lorraine.
- The International Thriller Writers is coming out with a book of essays by authors talking about the 100 Greatest Thrillers. Writers talking about writers is intellectual porn.
- Don't get stuck in the middle of a row.
- The Dark Books for Dark Times panel was a bad idea. Now I have five more authors to read: Reed Farrel Coleman, Larry Beinhart, JT Ellison, Michael Lister and Duane Swierczynski.
- Harley Jane Kozak is just as beautiful in person. And she will sign your DVDs.
- Y'know who else is beautiful? Louise Penny. And she's coming to Rochester, too!
- Authors are still fans.
- Trey Barker knows everybody. Well, almost everybody.
- Jack Daniels is good.
- Sean Chercover and Marcus Sakey are still two of the nicest G-D guys you'll ever meet.
- If you ever want to bring down a ceremony, just give Julie Hyzy an award. (That's facetious, folks.)
- Shannon Clute is almost as knowledgeable about film noir as I am. (Also facetious.)
- Loren Estleman likes film geeks.
- If you're ever in Indianapolis, make sure to hit the TaTa Cuban Cafe.
- Sean Chercover was the second person to recognize my ring. The first was The Hungry Detective, Dan Wagner. And that was a year and a half ago.

More to come, if I think of them.

Will I learn as much in San Francisco next year? It's hard to believe. But SF is a town that is steeped in mystery, and mystery writers.

Crime Beat

This one has a picture, too: http://www.mpnnow.com/news/police_and_fire/x1699621979/Police-look-for-info-in-case-of-stolen-giant-scarecrow-foot-in-Canandaigua

City police have apprehended one person and suspect three more in the dismemberment of Holly Ween, the giant, pink-haired scarecrow. The scarecrow, Holly Ween, was erected Friday to inaugurate the downtown Fall into Canandaigua Festival, and the foot was stolen late that night, before the festival was even under way, said Nicole Mahoney, of the Business Improvement District. The red foot and shoe measured two-and-a-half-feet tall, police said. “It was disappointing,” she said. “We would at least have liked to have her whole for the festival.”

Used to be, back in my day, a scarecrow only needed brains.

Bouchercon Update #3

Connelly was good, and so was the fish and chips. Stopped off at the Minotaur party and had a drink. Met Shannon Clute and had a great conversation. Going down to the bar to watch the game. Much to come tomorrow.

Bouchercon Update #2

Saw Megan Abbott and Christa Faust panels in the morning, and saw local author Lisa Bork in action at the New Authors speed-dating event. Michael Connelly this afternoon, plus Louise Penny and SJ Rozan (who are both coming to Rochester, more details to follow). Hopefully an Irish pub for dinner and maybe a party or two. Several people still to talk to, but I've got a day and a half left.

Bouchercon Update #1

The long first day is over. Saw several friends and met some online friends. Went to panels, walked around downtown. Bought some books, went to an awards ceremony, and played some video games. No stop at the bar tonight, but I've got two days left, and it starts early tomorrow with a Noir panel, something close to my heart.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.5

I'm off to Indianapolis, but you can enjoy this next episode of Sons of Anarchy. Don't tell me what happens, because I haven't seen it yet.

Crime Beat

Someone stole a black Trek 7100 bicycle from a garage on Country Club Drive in Brighton between 5:15 and 7 p.m. Sept. 8. The thief left a black Trek bike in the yard.

Someone stole a black and blue Trek mountain bike from an unlocked garage on Old Landmark Drive in Brighton between midnight and 8:20 a.m. Sept. 9. The thief left a blue Pacific Dune mountain bike in the yard.

Someone stole a Rally Passage bike from an open garage on North Country Club Drive in Brighton between 2:20 and 2:38 p.m. Sept. 11. The resident found a yellow men’s Trek bike that was not his.

So, is this actually stealing? Or more like a forced trade?

Crime Beat

A Christmas tree, computer game system, boots, luggage and picture frames were reported stolen sometime between Sept. 29 and Oct. 5 from a storage locker at a Poplar Gardens apartment building.

It seems like the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year.

The Top 10 Reasons to Go to Bouchercon

I'm the featured guest-blogger this morning at Type M For Murder (a clever play on Hitchcock's DIAL M FOR MURDER, which, if you've been paying attention, I just introduced at the Dryden in late August). I give you the Top 10 reasons to attend Bouchercon in Indianapolis this year. Or, if you're too late, then San Francisco next year. Check it out and let me know if you need links to any of the authors or events listed. I'd be happy to provide them.

Bouchercon Preview, Volume 3

One last time, the whole program can be found here.

Saturday, October 17

9:00-9:55
David Morrell previously published a list of the 70 greatest thrillers on the International Thriller Writers website. The list has apparently been expanded to 100 and he is presenting it at Bouchercon, along with Lee Child and Barry Eisler. But Julie Hyzy and Thomas H. Cook are both speaking at the same time, Hyzy on "Criminal Consumables" and Cook on "The Cold Dead Hand of the Past." Plus, there is a Kindle demonstration.

Throughout the program is a concept called "Continuous Conversation" where three authors sit down and talk about whatever they want. One author leaves and is replaced by a new author every 15 minutes. From 9:30-10:15 on Saturday morning, Megan Abbott will be part of the group, and she may be able to pull me away from whatever panel I'm in.

10:30-11:25
At this time, Michael Connelly is leading a tribute to Edgar Allan Poe during the 200th anniversary of his birth. Also Harlan Coben is talking about "What Do You Need to Know in Order to Write a Crime Novel?" If I feel satisfied with the Connelly interview on Friday, I may end up at the latter panel.

1:30-2:25
Again there's a lunch. Then Sean Chercover and Louise Penny are talking about the Dilys Award. But there are some interesting conceptual panels, too. "War Crimes" talks about war's relationship with crime fiction, and "Bouchercon 1934" posits what a panel would look like 75 years ago.

2:30-3:25
I'd like to see Judy Clemens talk about "Rules for the Paranormal Mystery" and Harley Jane Kozak contribute to "The Humor Panel," but I'm also intrigued by "Dark Books for Dark Times."

The Anthony Awards ceremony starts at 4:15, and the reception starts immediately after. But it's only scheduled till 6pm, giving me another night on the Indianapolis streets. Or maybe I'll catch up on some sleep. Maybe I'll sleep at the bar.

Sunday, October 18

It's a long drive home to Rochester, NY, so we may leave fairly early. But I do think we want to check out The Bazaar, where authors hand out free copies of their books to promote reading and awareness. I dig it. And I may even drop an extra $5 for another 5 books.

But once I get home, I'm definitely sleeping. If my wife lets me.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.4

The Club conducts a "charity run" up north, but trouble follows when Bobby decides to bring his old bike along, and Gemma identifies her attackers.

This one expires 10/29/09.

Bouchercon Preview, Volume 2

Again, the entire program is here.

Friday, October 16

9:00-9:55
Christa Faust is featured in "More Noir Than You Are," but Sean Chercover is making himself seen again in "Short, Dark and Good Reading." And the concept of "Which End is Up?" intrigues me: debating plotting forward vs. writing backward from the end. I have a feeling my inner Noir will win out, though.

Also at this time (from 9:45-11:15) there will be a speed-dating type of introduction to new authors, including local author Lisa Bork. I may have to stop in and see how she's doing.

10:30-11:25
Get this. All the panels at this time have something to offer for me. Conceptually, there is a panel of "Agents and Editors," one on "Police Procedure" and "The PI Novel Through the Years" featuring Max Allan Collins and SJ Rozan talking about the last four decades of the form. Then there's Marcus Sakey talking about plotting from character in "Character is Destiny" and Megan Abbott and Derek Nikitas talking about "The Dark Side of the Fair Sex." No matter what I do, I'll end up feeling guilty.

1:30-2:25
After lunch is the featured Guest of Honor interview with Michael Connelly, conducted by Michael Koryta. This panel is running unopposed.

3:00-3:55
If I'm not already exhausted, I'll have to choose between Louise Penny talking about "Ordinary People, Extraordinary Circumstances" and a big heaping helping of backstory in "The Past is Always Present."

4:30-5:25
Another decision. This time between SJ Rozan talking about "Keeping it Fresh" and a panel on the dangers of modeling characters on real people in "You Talking About Me?" Although, if my good friend Charles Benoit was coming this year, he'd likely be on the panel called "Murder at the Edge of the Map," which was tailor-made for him, and I would definitely be there to support him.

I'll be on my own Friday night. I could use it to catch up on some sleep. Or hang out in the bar.

Noir Images - Dead Reckoning

Lizabeth Scott is the female lead in this film, the object of the dead man's desire and the woman that Humphrey Bogart falls for. In this scene where she's introduced she's asked to sing a song. She's in the spotlight while the rest of the room is shaded, yet her mouth remains an empty maw of darkness. Can you believe anything that comes from it?

Bouchercon Preview, Volume 1

I once again have the good fortune to be able to go to Bouchercon, this time in Indianapolis, Indiana, the home, apparently, of Rex Stout, John Dillinger, "One Day at a Time" and the Indy 500. I'm going to take a few entries to preview what I'm thinking about doing before I get there. What actually happens, no one can tell. If you want to take a look at the program yourself, you can comment on what I'll be missing, or strongly suggest alternatives.

Thursday, October 15.

9:00-9:55
I'm going to hope that I'm up for the first session on the first day. My pick will likely be "Guidance from Writing Guides," moderated by Chris Roerden.

10:30-11:25
I'm interested in the "Lost in Translation" panel, featuring four people who take crime fiction in other languages and translate them to English. But I'm also interested in the "Inside Booklist" presentation from the Publisher and Senior Editor. This may be a gametime decision.

1:30-2:25
After lunch, there are a few interesting panels. "This Pen for Hire" is about continuing an existing series, including, among others, Max Allan Collins, who has finished some Mickey Spillane manuscripts. There is also "Twenty-First Century Private Eyes," moderated by the always-fun Austin Camacho. Then there is a presentation by the Head of Publisher Relations at Amazon on how that website connects authors with their audience. I'll play this one by ear.

3:00-3:55
This particular Bouchercon has a "One Conference, One Book" concept based around the Rex Stout-Nero Wolfe mystery SOME BURIED CAESAR. The town hall conversation on the book is in this time slot. I hope I can finish the book in time.

4:30-5:25
I'm going to clone myself for this time slot. It features "The Fixers" with Brett Battles and Lee Child, "Changing Gears" with Loren Estleman, "Adaptation" with Sean Chercover, and "O Canada" with Vicky Delany. If my day-job mentality wins out, I'll probably go to "Adaptation," but if it doesn't the field is wide open.

That night is the presentation of the Barry, Macavity, Derringer and Crime Spree Awards, followed by an interview of toastmaster SJ Rozan by Terence Faherty (a personal favorite, and an Indiana native), and concluding with an "Extravaganza" at some place called GameWorks Studio. Then off to bed. Or the bar.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.3

White Power is selling drugs in Charming and Jax has girl trouble, while Gemma and Clay frow further apart.

Panic in the Streets (1950)

In 1950 New Orleans, Richard Widmark is a Navy Officer working for the National Department of Health. He is called in on his day off to attend an unusual autopsy. A gunshot victim shows signs of the virulent pneumonic plague. He enlists the mayor and the police to find the murderers before they infect the city or flee and infect the rest of the country. Meanwhile, the murderers (Jack Palance and Zero Mostel) are tracking down the victim's cousin, believing that he's holding onto something extremely valuable.

The intercutting of the killers' quest and Widmark's need to scour the underworld for them are the qualities that seem to qualify this film as film noir. But the protagonist does not fit into one of the noir roles: as a criminal, a cynical anti-hero, or a hero made to act like a criminal. He is a hero, complicated only by his strident attitude, a self-realization he makes halfway through the picture. And his token undercover work literally involves him covering up his uniform in a long overcoat to better blend in.

Jack Palance is truly evil in his screen debut and carries the qualities of cruelty and ambivalence alone on his shoulders. But there is nothing oneiric, erotic, or strange about the film. Too, there is very little that one would call noir style in the picture. A lot of the film was shot on location in New Orleans, and there is much in the way of realistic night-time photography, but expressionistic shadow and mise-en-scene give way to that reality. There is one particular shot of Palance waking toward the camera in silhouette that was nice, but it was early in the picture and not representative of the rest of the film.

Judgment: Not Noir.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.2

In this episode, Jax causes problems between The Club and its customers by disposing of a body, and Gemma starts her recovery from her recent trauma.

Watch it quick. This one expires on October 15.

Crime Beat

A woman reported her car was stolen at 10 a.m. Sept. 11 from the Ellison Park parking lot at 1008 Penfield Road. According to investigators, the woman parked the car, left it unlocked with her keys in the vehicle and went for a walk in the park. When she returned a half hour later, her car was gone.

For her next trick, she's going to see if gravity really is an immutable law of physics.

Sons of Anarchy, Episode 2.1

F/X does anti-heroes better than anyone. Let's look at what they've done: The Shield, Rescue Me, Damages, The Riches, Thief, Nip/Tuck. Heck, even Over There, if you're looking to expand your definition of anti-hero.Then, last September, timed to coincide with the last season of The Shield, F/X premiered a new show that surprised me and pleased me with its dark characters and vicious and (in)human storylines.

Sons of Anarchy is the story of Jax, a young member of a the motorcycle gang SAMCRO (the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, Redwood Original). He has recently been promoted to Vice-President, the right hand man of his step-father, who was an original member of The Club with Jax's father. Meanwhile, Jax has just become a father to a sick child that his drug-addicted girlfriend gave birth to. Jax's true love, who has come back to town, is the doctor at the hospital. While cleaning out his father's storage, Jax finds a manuscript where his father lays out how The Club has gone wrong, and how they've sacrificed their pursuit of freedom at the altar of economic prosperity.

At the beginning of this season, Jax's best friend, Opie, is recovering from a tragic loss, while The Club tries to get its feet back under itself by making a new deal with the IRA at the same time they're trying to prevent neo-Nazis from moving into town. And Jax has to handle all of this while deciding if justice is attainable, or just an illusion.

It's less noir than it is 1930s gangster film, with some Oedipal undertones. It takes the standard Gangster film-critique of the capitalist American Dream and contrasts it with the original American Dream of individual freedom. It's sort of like, THE GODFATHER meets EASY RIDER meets HAMLET. It features great performances from Charlie Hunnam, Katey Sagal and The Awesome Ron Perlman. And with the additions of Adam Arkin (lately of another favorite, the canceled Life) and Henry Rollins, it promises to be an intense year.

Watch the video here or catch up with it on Hulu.com. But do it quick. This episode is only up until October 8.

Crime Beat

At 8:35 a.m. Sept. 1, a man on John Jay Drive reported that in February, he received an e-mail from a lottery foundation in England that said he had won a $200,000 prize, but needed him to send money to cover fees and taxes. He said that on 10 occasions, he sent in amounts between $1,000 and $2,500, but has never received his “lottery winnings.” He said he has used his entire savings up.

Sigh...This still happens?

Crime Beat

At 9:07 p.m. Aug. 19, a stroller left unattended by a ride at Seabreeze, 4600 Culver Road, was reported stolen. The victim’s purse containing a $200 digital camera and a wallet with credit cards was in the stroller. The stroller and purse were later located in a rest room near a main gate. The contents of the wallet were gone. Security personnel told officers that a large number of purses and wallets were taken from guests in the park this day, but most of the items were recovered in the same rest room.

Crime Beat

Three suspects between the ages of 17 and 18 were charged with making graffiti and/or committing felony-level criminal mischief. The three are suspected of painting graffiti in Brighton, Pittsford and Rochester between April and August. Tag names used were “SKAR,” “A-CAP,” “Scarface,” and BreH.”

And with this sad final chapter, the HERB saga comes to a close. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. I only wish I knew more.

Crime Beat

Somebody stole a golf cart from Executive South Family Golf on East Henrietta Road and drove it into a fence a short distance away from the course sometime between Tuesday, Aug. 11, and Wednesday, Aug. 12.

Shanked it on the getaway.

Crime Beat

Somebody stole the “Welcome to Henrietta” sign off the property at Locust Hill Country Club sometime between Sunday, June 28, and Thursday, Aug. 13. Deputies said the sign was sawed off from its wooden posts.

I'd look strongly at these people. Or anybody with a saw.

Crime Beat

At 8:56 p.m. Aug. 9, a manager of a store on Empire Boulevard reported seeing three men pushing a large safe in a shopping cart from outside a convenience store on the 400 block of Empire Boulevard. When the store clerk was contacted by police, he said he was not aware of any problem, but when he went to check a locked, separate office area, he found the lock broken and the door wide open. The $200 safe containing $8,000 in store and lottery receipts was gone. Damage to the office door is estimated at $50.

It's so hard to find good help these days. "No officer, I did not see or hear the three men break a locked door in my store, steal a safe that was heavy enough that three men couldn't carry it, and instead took one of my shopping carts to haul it off. But it was Monday. The Bachelorette was on."

Crime Beat

A resident of the 3000 block of East Avenue said a man came to her door at 3 p.m. July 22, saying his name was Joe and that he was doing work for the neighbors behind her house. He asked her to look at a fence he was going to work on. When she returned to the house, she found her diamond tennis bracelet missing, along with checks. The neighbors stated they did not have work scheduled. The suspect was a white male between the ages of 30 and 40. He was described as being 5-feet-4, weighing around 155 pounds and having brown hair.

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am not a "person of interest" in this investigation.

Crime Beat

A deputy found a vending machine in a ditch on the side of Willard Road on July 21. The machine had been pried open, and the coin collection box was missing from the machine.

It's an epidemic now! All the kids are doing it! It just seems like an awful lot of effort for $20 in small change.

Crime Beat

At 10:15 a.m. July 21, an eight-foot rowboat valued at $800 was reported stolen from behind a garage in the 5300 block of St. Paul Boulevard.

Mary Lee strikes again. Oh, Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee, Mary Lee. What is life like for you?

Crime Beat

At 9:37 a.m. July 21, after a traffic stop on Empire Boulevard for a driver talking on a cellular phone, Jose K. Rivera, 35, of Vayo Street, Irondequoit, was charged with the cell phone violation as well as driving with a suspended license and unlawful possession of marijuana.

I mean, I'm glad to see the cell phone law working and all, but, is that really your lead on this story? What with the drugs and all?

Crime Beat

Somebody stole a vending machine from the Burlington Coat Factory on West Henrietta Road at about 9 p.m. on Saturday, July 18.The suspect, described as a white male in his 30s, wearing a blue shirt, used a dolly to remove the machine.

Deputies later recovered the machine near the intersection of Clover Street and Mendon Center Road.

Hmmm... Well-planned binge eating. I'd search the MENSA meetings for bulimic truckers.

Crime Beat

A Misty Pine Road resident reported July 18 that someone had broken the head off his chicken-shaped mailbox.

I guess the wondrous thing about this story is that the guy actually reported it. He musta been awful proud of that chicken-headed mailbox.

Dryden Theatre: Dial M for Murder

With the resurgence of 3-D at movie theaters nowadays, it makes one wonder what a master of cinema would do with this technology. Well, wonder no further, readers, because tomorrow is the day that you find out. Just go down to the Dryden Theatre and plop down your money for an experience that you will not soon forget: Alfred Hitchcock in 3-D. That's right, the Dryden Theatre has set up the silver screen and dug out the cardboard anaglyph glasses for one showing only of DIAL M FOR MURDER. Don't miss it. I'll be disappointed in you.

Update: And if that weren't enough for you, you'll be treated to an introduction by one of the leading film noir scholars in the zip code: ME!

Come on down and see something you may not find anywhere else in your lifetime: one of the few existing vintage 3-D prints of DIAL M FOR MURDER.

Crime Beat

At 11:36 a.m. July 16, a bin full of knitting patterns and business books, valued at a total of $500, was reported stolen from a driveway in the 500 block of Oakridge Drive.

I'm going to look into it and find out where my friend Nancy was on this day. She always has trouble with socks.

Crime Beat

All from Penfield:

Sometime between 11 p.m. on July 7 and 6:30 a.m. on July 8, an unknown person entered the unlocked garage at 1081 Whalen Road and stole a white Walter Hagen golf bag containing various Cleveland and Ping golf clubs.

An unknown person entered the open garage at 1 Pipers Meadow Trail sometime between 11 a.m. on July 7 and 6:30 p.m. on July 8 and stole a set of Titleist golf clubs.

Sometime between 4:30 and 5 p.m. on July 10, an unknown person stole a bag of golf clubs from the open garage at 34 Bainbridge Lane.

An unknown person stole a set of golf clubs from an open garage at 31 Watersong Trail between 6 and 8:30 p.m. on July 10.

An unknown person entered the open garage at 51 Seawatch Trail and stole set of golf clubs sometime between 6 and 8:45 p.m. on July 10.

In my imagination, the lead detective has a big map on the wall with pushpins (color-coded according to date) at each of the houses. He scratches his three-day beard, runs a hand through his hair, leans his forehead against the map. "Why?" he asks, a whisper to no one. "Why?"

Crime Beat

A Bowns Hill Lane resident reported someone entered a garage between 11 p.m. July 8 and 7 a.m. July 9, cutting a window screen, and stole beer and wine from a refrigerator and a cooler from a shelf.

One-stop burgalry for all your picnicking needs...

Crime Beat

The owners of Whatcha Got Cooking, 10 Liftbridge Lane W., reported July 3 that someone had broken into the business after it closed at 10 p.m. July 2. A safe containing cash and paperwork was reported missing.

Curiosity killed the cat. It also made someone break into the store with the unanswerable question.

Crime Beat

A mystery movie trope: There is no such thing as a coincidence.

A woman reported that were vehicle was broken into while it was parked on North Landing Road between 12:15 and 2:15 p.m. on June 22. Her wallet and a bag of groceries were stolen.

and

A resident of Chartwell Court reported that an unknown person poured flour and soup over her vehicle in addition to hitting it with eggs and letting air out of two tires between 4 p.m. on June 22 and 4:15 a.m. on June 23.